The Impact of Family Violence on Children

Disagreements between parents happen in all families.  Constant or severe arguing and violence however, can be damaging to your child.  When adult disagreements are not handled well, your child’s world seems out of control, unsafe and unpredictable.  In fact, children who are exposed to family violence show the same tendencies as those who are being abused.  They can experience  social, emotional and behavioural problems such as: sleep troubles, physical complaints, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem, difficulty controlling anger, weak social skills  and reduced school success.  Exposure to family violence is considered to be a form of emotional child abuse.

The impact of family violence on a particular child will depend on their age, how frequent and severe the conflict is, a child’s individual personality and coping style, and the existence of supportive people and places in their life. 

How You Can Help Your Child

To reduce the negative effects that arguing or violence has on your child you can:

• Try to keep your arguments away from your child as much as possible, and avoid getting very loud or intense.
• When you are in conflict, avoid verbally attacking the other person.  Talk about your feelings and discuss solutions as calmly and reasonably as possible. 
• Assure the child that the fighting is not their fault.
• Make sure there is a caring, supportive adult in the child’s life.
• Spend time with the child, take time to listen, and answer questions in an honest and appropriate way.
• Seek help from friends, family, medical professionals, or a counsellor.

Where to Go for Help

If you and your partner are arguing regularly, and you think that it could be affecting your child, you are not alone.  There are people and services available to help.  Protecting your children from violence now, can protect them from lifelong problems.

Agencies to Contact for Information and Support
 

Community Counselling and Resource Centre   705-742-4258

KINARK Child and Family Services 705-742-3803

Family and Youth Clinic, Peterborough Regional Health Centre 705-876-5114

Peterborough Youth Services  705-743-1681

Kawartha, Haliburton Children’s Aid Society           1-800-661-2843